Why I don't hate Monday

Maha! While everyone else was slaving away at another miserable Monday, I was enjoying a delightful three courses with my friends at Maha Bar and Grill. Yes I know you hate me, but please do keep reading.

For starters we had the mezze which incorporated lots of yummy things to spread on warm Turkish rolls. The best tastes were the beetroot dip and the marinated olives, the rest were all good but not rave worthy. The only negative I can say at all about the lunch was that a second serving of rolls should have come out as soon as the first were finished. Instead everyone was left to pick at the dips with forks, until some forward thinker on our table requested more bread, and once this request had been satisfied there was little left to spread on the new rolls. But this was a tiny inconvenience and for the rest of the meal I was continually impressed by the attention to detail and wonderful standard of service.

So next course, the sahen kbeer (large plates) which was blissful. I could have eaten the entire plate of butter fish that came to the table, it was mildly chilli seasoned, oh so tender and perfectly cooked. Gosh I think I am actually drooling while typing. There was also a vegetarian option of cheese filled ravioli, nice but not exceptional. The sides however were exceptional, a refreshing cucumber and lettuce salad evenly coated with a zesty cream dressing and a bowl of fried rice with mustard seeds and almonds. The meat eaters present did inform me that the goat was very good, but not as good as the fish. This can be proven by the reluctance of our only male dining companion, who was told to 'be a man' and finish the last forlorn looking steak.

The best part of the meal and the real reason we all gathered at Maha was the fabled Turkish Delight filled doughnuts. Yes, they are amazing. I could have eaten all three, but restrained myself. So go on, you've been meaning to try them and you should. They reminded me of the poshest jam doughnut known to humanity and they really do go down a treat in comparison to the ulcer inducing sweetness of say the Vic. Market variety. Equally fantastic though was the coconut cake topped with honeycomb mousse and complimented by what tasted like a bread and butter ice-cream. Gosh if I went back for dessert at Maha I would have trouble choosing whether to have the doughnuts or the cake.
The final component of dessert was a shot glass of chocolate cream with a rose water froth, though it was in no way unpleasant to spoon this sweet stuff into my glutinous gob, it was definitely punching above it's weight when placed in the ring with the other sweets.

The final part of this exemplary lunch was the Turkish cologne that was spritzed onto our hands. The fragrance has wafted around with me all day, constantly reminding me of just how wonderful a Monday can be.

Hot Chocolate Review #4

Cafe Vue Soy Hot Chocolate
Location: Little Collins Street
Price: $6.50
Take-away: Yes
Temperature: Well warmed

The French do 'classic', oh so well. Not surprising then that the hot chocolate I ordered at Cafe Vue was a classic beauty. Alas one must be patient and observe etiquette while they wait for a table, but will be rewarded if they do. A little note, if seated at the coffee tables in the corner gently nudge your dining companion to the cork while you claim the padded bench, if you are as ruthless as moi. Carry on.

Once seated you must order a Soy Hot Chocolate and if peckish the Pistachio Cupcake, which is green heaven on a plate. The hot chocolate will be transported to your lips in a smooth red tea cup of generous proportions and excellent quality. You will marvel at the pale cocoa milk froth as it bobs on your upper lip and long for the milky soft chocolate that lays below. The flavour could be described as chocolate neutral; an excellent balance between bitter and sweet. This is the comforting hot chocolate, that feels like home, but tastes much better. I admit the price is a bit rich, but then we are on the other side of Elizabeth where people supposedly work hard and definitely pay hard.

Melbourne Hot Chocolate Review #3

Location: Lygon Street (other franchises elsewhere)
Cost: $5.90
Temperature: Piping Hot
Take-away: Yes

This week I got acquainted with my old amigo, San Churro's Spanish Hot Chocolate with Hazelnut. This drink used to be called Baci Hot Chocolate but obviously word must have got back to management that Baci is an Italian delicacy and not authentically Spanish. Therefore it has now been given a name that I can't quite remember but I'm sure it started with A, so after extensive research of the Spanish word for Hazelnut I conclude that the new drink must be Christened Avellano or something of the sort.

So does a hot chocolate by any other name still taste as sweet? Yes. I enjoyed possessively mulling over my hazelnut hot chocolate while others walked by on Lygon Street and looked longingly through the windows. I sat there a while because the serving size is very decent and with the heat that the hot chocolate comes to your table at it's best to go slowly if you don't like scorched taste buds. I think this temperature is great though because no-one likes a cold chocolate (unless it's iced), the only minimal downside to the temperature is that a slight skin of chocolate can form on top if you don't keep stirring your cup of delight. I say delight because I feel that is the best word to describe the flavour, there is the delicious base of Spanish Chocolate that is full yet not heavy, and then the Hazelnut dances delicately on top adding a zing to the overall taste. The texture is not rough but I've definitely had smoother.
So will I be meeting my old amigo again? Most certainly!

Melbourne Hot Chocolate Review #2

Max Brenner's Hot Chocolate
Location: Melbourne Central
Temperature: Warm
Cost: $6.00
Take-away: yes

I've tried lots of hot chocolates at Max Brenner over the past 4 years and a worrying trend has come to my attention. I'm no Commerce student so I don't quite understand what the technical term for this is but basically the price of the hot chocolate has increased steadily and the quality has decreased steadily. The hot chocolate is still a good beverage, but I have that devil of prior experience whispering in my ear "It used to be better...and CHEAPER!"

I hate to seem like an old biddy, but back in my day, you could afford a hot choclate and would get two waffles without dinting your wallet. These waffles have now been reduced to waffle and the ice cream, chocolate pot and strawberries on the side are no longer 'standard' but classified as 'extras'. Damn it Max, you've sold out. You have turned the purest form of love, the love of chocolate, into a slogan. That ain't right!

Sure the Hug Mugs and Alice cups are darling and there's enough 50's nostalgia to sink the Good Ship Lollipop, what really matters is the hot chocolate so this is my honest review.
Max Brenner's milk chocolate has this delicate hint of caramel/toffee?...Well something sweet that my tastebuds can't identify but always want more of. You know it sounds a lot like sugar, but this lovely taste is the basis of all the Hot Chocolates. I've tried the Original, Danish Toffee, Waffle Ball and American Marshmellow all made with Milk Chocolate and I will base my comments on the later mentioned.
I first had this drink a few years back but can still remember how good it was. The chocolate liquid was densely flavoured with caramel undertones and enhanced by the layer of mini-marshmallow that floated mellowly on top, gently nestled in milk froth. Ahhhh.
That experience was tainted last week by the watered down chocolate liquid that had a distant memory of caramel flavour and two cheap marshmallows plopped unmelted in 2cms of froth. The worst part is that this experience cost me at least $2 more than the last!

No one likes to be cheated and that is the feeling I get now whenever I walk into Max Brenner's. It's like Max has become the unfaithful lover who I keep running back to hoping I will get back the joy I once had. Alas I have been scorned enough and for the good of my morale and my mortgage, I'm not going back.
Just a note for those who do enter Max's den, get the chocolate brownie with ice-cream for $8.50 as it's the only reasonably priced and rewarding experience on the menu...also invite me, so then I would only be eating there out of social politeness.

Melbourne Hot Chocolate Review #1

So it may be because I'm still hungover at 3:30pm on a Saturday and feeling quite sorry for myself, but I'm beginning to crave some human conversation on my blog that I or a very close friend haven't typed.
The reason I started this blog was to get people out and about, enjoying the food and other delights of Melbourne. So please, yes I am pleading, if you go and share my experiences that I've blogged about TELL ME! I don't mind if you want to challenge my reviews, suggest places I should go or tell me how much you like my shoes.

I also understand that when you want something to happen you have to do a bit of hard work yourself. Thus I have decided that every week you lovely readers will get a review of the best Melbourne Hot Chocolates. I know it will be hard for me to drink a hot chocolate every week but it's a chore I must do.

Thus we begin

Brunetti's Italian Hot Chocolate
Locations: Carlton, City Square and Camberwell
Cost: $4.40 with cream.
Temperature: Hot
Take away: Yes

First times are usually a disappointment. It can be awkward, heart breaking and uncomfortable. Much like my first Italian Hot Chocolate at Brunetti’s. I was seventeen and trying ever so hard to grow up. I had become acquainted with cappuccino and sushi and believed I was ready for European Hot Chocolate. From the first sip I was sad. I could barely manage a few gulps of the rich concoction. Bitterly disappointed I swore I would never try it again, ever. However those few sips were enough to corrupt my taste buds, as I sipped on lukewarm chocolate from ‘coffee shops’ I dreamed of the chocolate intensity that had so briefly coated the back of my teaspoon.

I gave in a year later as I struggled through my first year of university. Inconvenient two hour class breaks and the chill of Melbourne’s winter could be fixed with one cup of Brunetti’s Italian Hot Chocolate. The serving size is a small glass, although it may look small it's just right. The liquid chocolate is dark and rich with a taste that verges on the right side of bitter. It is incredibly smooth and evenly coats the back of your teaspoon. I prefer mine without cream on top, but it is not ruined by the addition. To increase the delight, do buy one of their scrumptious little biscuits to go with it. There’s nothing wrong with a bit on the side ;)

Curry time!

So I was all on Facebook chat instead of doing my essay which is due tomorrow and I was chatting to my friend Abbey and somehow I got her to agree with me that I should go get curry. So I scurried (haha) down the road a few meters and ended up in Indian Tukka.

I have only recently (like a year) become acclimatised with Indian food. Because well lets just say...I don't like spicy food! Okay I've admitted it, I can go cry into my lemon and herb Nando's seasoning and drink a glass of water or two.
Because I can't handle spicy foods I was convinced by all and sundry that I would never be up to the challenge of Indian food. So whenever Indian was put forward as a valid dinner option I would put on my best toddler face and say "I don't like Indian" and all would obey for fear of seeing a teenage girl throw a Clueless tantrum.
Then one day I was in Paris, it was Bastille Day and when in Paris one must do as the French, be all patriotic and what not and eat curry. To my surprise - no burnt mouth, no drinking a fish tank of water and none of the dreaded Dehli belly that my mother had so adamantly claimed was the fate of all Indian diners.

So the point of the story is...
You should go eat at Indian Tukka, right now. It's located practically on the corner of Victoria Parade and Wellington Street. The people who run it are very friendly and polite. Tonight I ordered the Saag Aloo (Potatoes cooked in a rich puree spinach sauce) it was delicious and will surely get me through the last 500 words of this essay. I have also tried the Navrattan (Vegetable) Korma warmed up for breakfast straight from the fridge, this is thanks to the wonder that I call Abbey. No one else in the world could bring flowers to your party and leave you with curry.
Also the Naan bread is really, really good. Get 2 serves trust me, or as my mum would say "Go Girl!", actually maybe she was talking about the essay.

Alright I'll stop procrastinating, but here's the Take Away number 9419 4199 or 0425 711 674, use it!

Squirrelled away

It's cold. I now wear my cardigan instead of carrying it and my circulation is already being aided by woolen socks worn night and day. This change in weather has influenced my eating habits. I have become much less inclined to venture out of doors or it may also be due to the large amount of mid-semester University assignments I should be doing...right now. But it's best not to think about reasons and instead focus on results.
30mins prior to this post I just consumed the most delicious meal made all by myself in my shoe box apartment and toy sized kitchen.

The recipe is from Sophie Dahl's cook book 'Voluptuous Delights' which I highly recommend you obtain and devour. I know you may be a little hesitant about a cook book written by a model, as we all know Kate Moss will not be producing a cook book in this lifetime. But then Sophie Dahl is a very different type of model (she eats...a lot) and is also the most divine looking creature on the planet. Her cook book is sectioned off into seasons so I started with the first recipe in Autumn - Poached Eggs on Portobello Mushrooms with goat's cheese.

They key to the deliciousness of this recipe I believe lies in the use of fresh ingredients.

Mushrooms:
I sourced my fungi from the Wild about Fruit: Farm Shop on the Cnr Edward & Coldstream West Rds, Coldstream. This is were I buy my fresh produce each week on the way to my parent's farm in the Yarra Valley. These field mushrooms were incredibly cheap and taste sublime. Trust me you haven't eaten a mushroom until it's been picked from an open field. They make supermarket mushrooms taste like cardboard.

Goat's Cheese:
The best soft cheeses in Melbourne I believe reside in one building, The Yarra Valley Dairy. For this recipe I used the marinated Chevre Medallions, alas I am also obsessed with the marinated Persian Fetta and the Black Savourine.

How to assemble:
De-stalk 2 large field mushrooms, place in a frying pan and douse in olive oil, top and bottom. While this is cooking, take a free range egg and poach it. I find using glad wrap to be the fool-proof way but whatever poaches your yolk is fine. When the mushrooms are browned and tender, move them onto a plate to cool.
Line the base of a flat bowl with baby spinach, place the mushrooms on top and then the poached egg should be transferred without the glad wrap to rest upon the fungi. Generously crumble goats cheese all over and you have heaven on a plate-bowl.

Enjoy my dears and stay out of the cold.

Healesville Hotel

Oh Autumnul breeze, how delicious it smells. The heat of summer begins to dull and suddenly things apart from ice cream seem to be edible. To celebrate my extended palate I decided to take advantage of the Coldstream Hills Restaurant Express which is part of the Melbourne Food and Wine Festival. This mumbo jumbo of marketing names will allow you to get 2 courses, a glass of wine and tea or coffee at 70 top notch restaurants in Victoria. So today I took mummy along to the Healesville Hotel for a well deserved break from the toasted sandwich machine at home and the chance to get a bit tipsy before 1 o’clock.


If you have no idea where Healesville is, I will give you a quick idea. It’s in the Yarra Valley (where lots of grapes are grown and trampled on) and is about 20 minutes on from Lilydale Station (the end, yes the very end, of that train line). It’s a nice drive and the valley is at it’s best at the moment; green rolling hills, blue skies and crisp leaves. The scenery of the hotel is also quite nice: friendly green walls, pressed tin ceiling and an airy relaxed feeling. We were seated at a window where the sun shone in gently and complemented our glass of White Harvest wine, the hotel’s own label.

The normal menu of the Healesville Hotel changes seasonally but due to the Express deal we were offered a menu of two options per course. I am genetically predisposed to dessert, as is my mother, therefore the two courses became main and dessert. I did glance at the starters, I’m sure there was something that contained smoked salmon and a pea soup.
For main I picked the vegetarian option of Zucchini and Spinach Lasagna and mother chose the carnivorous option of Duck with Roasted Figs. While waiting for our course to come out we were offered fresh bread twice and we accepted once. The double offer of bread and the ample supply of butter on the table made me a very happy lady; for I lament the lack of bread in any place but the RSL these days. I mean low-carb was so last decade, it’s time to bring back bread, pretty please! Sorry about that little rant, back on track.

Mains were presented to us by a charming man who informed me that the rainbow of petite tomatoes scattered around the lasagna came from his garden. He also informed mummy that the figs her duck rested on came from a tree in the waitresses’ garden. As you can tell the service was friendly and relaxed. In fact the waitress gained my utter admiration when she managed to get rid of a wasp in our window by accurately swatting it with a table fork, now that’s service. Once nature was taken care of I could tuck into my meal. The lasagna was superb; forkfuls of soft cheese, fresh pasta and spinach layered in-between and the little tomatoes all went down a treat. Mother adored the salt rubbed duck and thought it was cooked “just right”. She also mentioned that the portions were “ladylike” and I do agree with her. I was thrilled to have something that was ‘just right’ but those with Bearish appetites would not be satisfied with the Goldilocks serving size. In which case they should probably not refuse the second offering of bread.

Ah dessert, two options again. Strawberry and Rasberry Tart or a Trio of Ices. Mother commented that the Ices sounded like something from an Enid Blyton book, but the literary connection was not enough to tempt us from the berry tart. We both devoured it from the crisp outer shell all the way to the last scrape of gooey vanilla custard. Some plump red berries were pierced onto the fork in the middle of this sugar deconstruction.


Perfectly full mother and I walked out of the Healesville Hotel and had only gone three shops when we discovered the perfect ending to our outing, shoes! There in the window of the Black Cat Boutique was a pair of shiny plum brogues that looked good enough to eat, let alone wear. So we hurried inside...and now my dears I sit typing away in my stockings and bra for I refuse to take off the plum shoes tied to my feet.